Yellow-headed Blackbird

Yellow-headed Blackbird
Woodland Water Pollution Control Facility, Woodland, California, USA
April 2019
Member of the Blackbird Family
§A Cloud of Blackbirds§
★The Worst Song of Any North American Bird(?)★ Described in my various sources as "a strange mixture of honking, gurgling and strangling noises", "a rusty farm gate opening", "hoarse, harsh scraping", and "bizarre grinding", there seems to be broad agreement that it's pretty bad. Judge for yourself here.

~true bird fact~ Yellow-headed Blackbirds have an interesting way of foraging en-masse. Birds from the back will always fly first, 'rotating' to the front, which gives the flock the appearance of rolling across a landscape. Very aesthetic, and very fair.


Quick to make friends
Talks about the memes he likes, loudly and publically
Has an explanation for everything, even if that explanation doesn't really make sense. At least you know he's thought about it.

Rhinoceros Auklet

Rhinoceros Auklet aka. Rhino Auklet aka. Unicorn Puffin(?!) aka. Horn-billed Puffin
Monterrey Bay, Monterrey, California, USA
January 2018
Member of the Auks, Murres, and Puffins Family
§A Loomery of Auks§

{Etymology Corner} Technically not an Auk, he is the only living member of his genus. Closer to a puffin, but honestly just his own thing. You could see why they would think he was an auklet though, when you see the absolutely wild looking birds he's related to. The rhinoceros part is pretty easy to figure out, it's that 'horn' above his bill. It's actually pretty mild in this photo, it gets even craggier. It only appears in breeding season, like the horn on a Pelican, and no one knows what it's for.

~true bird fact~ Was able to repopulate California's Farallon Islands after the introduced rabbit population there was eliminated. Obviously rabits don't eat the Auklets, but they did drive them out of burrows, preventing them from breeding there. Sort of a conservation success story. I was only able to see this guy with his horn because of the population there

Gives off bad vibes, a dangerous bird
He didn't see nothin', this bird, and who's asking?
Mother issues
You know, I don't normally do this, but this bird looks kind of like if one of those mugshot magazines fell in a puddle and was actually a bird
He has a displeasing head shape and eye position
His wings looks like they were just knocked off, thrown away, picked up out of a garbage can, and then glued back on by a clumsy child
Looking at this bird I feel like I've traveled back in time to an era before birds developed aesthetics
He looks just smart enough to be mean
Bird looks like when he honks a cigarette butt flies out of his throat
Let's be frank, this bird looks like he is honored and grateful that you invited him to your daughter's wedding, on the day of your daughter's wedding

Smooth-billed Ani

Smooth-billed Ani
Cabbage Beach, Paradise Island, The Bahamas
April 2017
Member of the Cuckoo Family
§A Silliness of Anis§ (disagreeable)

~true bird fact~ Lives a seriously communal life-style. Several pairs of birds build the nest together and all lay their eggs in it in layers. These nests are crazy multi-layered deals, and up to 35 eggs have been found in one nest. The birds incubate and defend the nest together, and raise the chicks. The chicks themselves, once old enough to do so, begin to care for the younger birds.

~real bird myth~ The meat of the Ani, reportedly gross tasting, is considered to be a cure for lung issues by the Surinamese native people, but only if you don't know that you're eating it.

Lots of strong feelings about whether having a smooth bill or a grooved bill is better. This conflict may originate from a sneetches-like situation.
Unflappable
Does a lot of starring out at the horizon, thinking about unrelated things
Doesn't see why you'd waste money going out to dinner

...Ok look, I don't usually do this, this is a friendly n positive blog, but I gotta say...

This bird looks like a blackbird fell into the ooze from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: Secret of the Ooze
Like if an unflattering caricature of a crow came to life
Bird looks like he's wearing a a big, novelty, Halloween mask of himself
If you asked a kid to draw a "dinosaur versio of a bird", this is what they'd come up with
I'm just saying, he looks like he told you that you wouldn't like him when he's angry, and then you went and made him angry anyway
Smooth-billed Ani looks like a gargoyle you made to ward away trespassers from your tomb. Carved him on a column
Kinda looks more like a lizard than a bird
Typed 'scary bird from a nightmare' into google search and he came up, is all I'm saying

#birdroasts