Red-breasted Merganser

Red-breasted Merganser

Monterrey Bay, Monterrey, California, USA 
January 2018 
Member of the Ducks, Geese, and Swans Family 
§A Raft of Ducks§

{Etymology Corner} You might wonder what exactly a merganser is, if you're the type of person who reads this blog. Well, what separates this guy and his relatives from other ducks, for the most part, is that he is a hunter. He's got a saw-toothed bill, and dives for fish (Red-breasteds like to hunt at sea, other mergansers prefer rivers or lakes). But what does the name Merganser mean? Well, it comes from his Latin name, Mergus (no surprise there, when you see a nonsense word in a bird's name, it's probably from the latin). The fun part is that Mergus translates to 'unidentified water bird'. Really reaching for the stars with that ID.


~true bird fact~ May in fact be the fastest duck. Wikipedia states that the fastest recorded speed for a duck came from a Red-breasted Merganser, flying at 100 miles per hour. The speed was recorded as the duck was being pursued by an airplane. To me this just raises so many questions about what we're doing out there with these ducks. Did the Merganser commit a crime? Anyway, I don't feel confident in really calling it for the record, since who knows what many species would be capable of with a plane barreling after them. Still. an impressive feat. No word on whether the bird got away or not.

Owns a lot of obscure metal band t-shirts (doesn't play an instrument)
Definitely thinks hunting in the ocean rather than a lake makes him cooler and more legit
Gets a tattoo every year on his birthday

Rhinoceros Auklet

Rhinoceros Auklet aka. Rhino Auklet aka. Unicorn Puffin(?!) aka. Horn-billed Puffin
Monterrey Bay, Monterrey, California, USA
January 2018
Member of the Auks, Murres, and Puffins Family
§A Loomery of Auks§

{Etymology Corner} Technically not an Auk, he is the only living member of his genus. Closer to a puffin, but honestly just his own thing. You could see why they would think he was an auklet though, when you see the absolutely wild looking birds he's related to. The rhinoceros part is pretty easy to figure out, it's that 'horn' above his bill. It's actually pretty mild in this photo, it gets even craggier. It only appears in breeding season, like the horn on a Pelican, and no one knows what it's for.

~true bird fact~ Was able to repopulate California's Farallon Islands after the introduced rabbit population there was eliminated. Obviously rabits don't eat the Auklets, but they did drive them out of burrows, preventing them from breeding there. Sort of a conservation success story. I was only able to see this guy with his horn because of the population there

Gives off bad vibes, a dangerous bird
He didn't see nothin', this bird, and who's asking?
Mother issues
You know, I don't normally do this, but this bird looks kind of like if one of those mugshot magazines fell in a puddle and was actually a bird
He has a displeasing head shape and eye position
His wings looks like they were just knocked off, thrown away, picked up out of a garbage can, and then glued back on by a clumsy child
Looking at this bird I feel like I've traveled back in time to an era before birds developed aesthetics
He looks just smart enough to be mean
Bird looks like when he honks a cigarette butt flies out of his throat
Let's be frank, this bird looks like he is honored and grateful that you invited him to your daughter's wedding, on the day of your daughter's wedding

If Birds were The Bachelor: The Birdchelor

Hi, I'm Chris Harris'shawk, welcome to the Birdchelor. On this season we'll be taking 14 lucky birds to beautiful Baja California Sur, where they will compete for the heart of our accomplished Birdchelor. Tonight we're going to be meeting and learning a little bit about our contestants, but first it's time for the bird of the hour


White-winged Dove
The Birdchelor
"Wow"
"I love that"
"You look beautiful"

Fantastic. Isn't he a catch? Well, the following birds certainly think so. Let's meet them now

Brown Pelicans
TWINS
[simultaneously] "We're double trouble, a 2-for-1 special, and a triple threat!"

 Killdeer
Medical Supply Salesbird
"I've got a bad feeling about this"

Osprey
Instagram Celebrity
"I never play games, so let the games begin"

Hooded Oriole
Silly-invention Pedler
"I'm here to find my birdsband. No, I've never thought of a more reliable way to do it than this, why do you ask?"

House Finch
Folks Wisdomologist
"Gosh, do you think someone might like me? And on television?"

European Starling
Accent-haver
"Don't hate me because I'm beautiful, hate me because of my many bad personality traits"

American Kestrel
Yoga Mat Sales Rep
"You can take the Kestrel out of America, but you can't take the America out of the Kestrel! Yee-Haw!"

California Scrub-Jay
Professional Gambler
"Hey White-winged Dove, I hope you'll... roll the dice on me" [blows on some dice, winks]

Snowy Egret
Fire Fighter
"I'm not here to make friends, but mostly because my cruelty makes it impossible for me to do so"

Pied-billed Grebe
Mom-fashion Expert, Momsultant, Momtrepeneur
"Cabo is the perfect place for me, a mom, to find love"

Costa's Hummingbird

Website something-or-other

"I sure hope no one asks me about my traumatic past"

Common Gallinule
Phony Wellness Product Endorser
"You don't have to be crazy to come on this show, but that's what's going on with me"

Northern Mockingbird
Oddly Accomplished
"Free trip to Mexico? Sure, why not! I hope the Birdchelor doesn't try and talk to me"

A terrific group of birds, I'm sure you'll agree. This season promises to be the most dramatic season of the Birdchelor ever. Stay tuned!